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Shibeta

Doing bad on certain ships drives me mad and makes my depression worse, can't get out from the shadow of stat shaming, please help me out.

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I cried, punched desk and broke my mouse today cause I suddenly can't play Smolensk well. At the very beginning, everything was fine, I got 140k average damage and I decided to keep playing, then I lost 10 games with Smolensk in a row, I was mad and started to make very basic mistakes and my average damage dropped to pathetic 60k, I struggled to pad the average damage back but I started to get sudden death frequently and I was totally done.

 

I was diagnosed with depression several years ago, a friend of mine recommended this game to me cause he thought this would cheer me up a bit (I like naval history). Actually, I'm a quiet and humble person and don't play any other competitive PvP games. I started worrying about my stats because I got seriously bullied and stat shammed when I was an unforgivable potato (I lived abroad and played in NA then, not here). Stat shamming made my mental condition even worse, I started to realize that the elitism atmosphere in player communities would always be there, so the only way to protect myself is to play better. I started to take this game seriously, taking notes when watching playback, reading ship reviews, and learning the advanced game machanism. I thought I could do better, but I still sucks. I never want to be unicum or something else fantastic, I just want to keep myself safe when playing the game. Every time I get below average stats on a certain ship, I grind hard to make it better. I even fear to play the powerful ship like Tier X and Belfast cause I know it would be harder to "grind back the stats" if I sucks.

 

I'll go to see my counseling psychologist… But I still can't get rid of the red numbers on my Smolensk, I want to do well but the condition got worse and worse. Really hope I never played this ship or the stat could be wiped. Maybe I deserve this cause I can't play well or be useful to my team. Sorry for the rant but I just need to speak out to make myself better.

Edited by Shibeta
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*pats*pats*

Don't fret. Despite the saltyness surrounding the Smallest, it is not an easy ship to play. Because of the small gun size, you won't deal much direct damage on big armoured targets. From my experience, target dds and softer cruisers. Once you set a bb on fire, switch target. Use cover. It plays like a dd. You probably haven't gotten the feel of the ship yet. Practice and continue trying. From your stats, you can do it.

 

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First of all, my condolences to your mental condition.

You have perfectly described how wrong the current state of the playerbase as a whole. It does not help either when WG only rewards the "highly-competitive" players. And I don't think this game is a good way to escape from the rough society other than the PvE stuffs, unless you have built a certain mental immunity against the verbal abuses in the form of stat-shaming.

My stats are clearly not noteworthy, but I could care less about them right now (I used to be very concerned of them though). Now I only play to kill some idle time, and do all I can. The results will depend on how the rest of the team do their jobs which I cannot take them as personal results because they are wins/losses for the entire team. If I have reached the limit,of my sanity, I log out and try again later/tomorrow.

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Shibeta: ....

WG: Lets make sure players can give negative Karma to people in a situation like this.

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1 hour ago, Shibeta said:

I cried, punched desk and broke my mouse today cause I suddenly can't play Smolensk well. At the very beginning, everything was fine, I got 140k average damage and I decided to keep playing, then I lost 10 games with Smolensk in a row, I was mad and started to make very basic mistakes and my average damage dropped to pathetic 60k, I struggled to pad the average damage back but I started to get sudden death frequently and I was totally done.

 

I was diagnosed with depression several years ago, a friend of mine recommended this game to me cause he thought this would cheer me up a bit (I like naval history). Actually, I'm a quiet and humble person and don't play any other competitive PvP games. I started worrying about my stats because I got seriously bullied and stat shammed when I was an unforgivable potato (I lived abroad and played in NA then, not here). Stat shamming made my mental condition even worse, I started to realize that the elitism atmosphere in player communities would always be there, so the only way to protect myself is to play better. I started to take this game seriously, taking notes when watching playback, reading ship reviews, and learning the advanced game machanism. I thought I could do better, but I still sucks. I never want to be unicum or something else fantastic, I just want to keep myself safe when playing the game. Every time I get below average stats on a certain ship, I grind hard to make it better. I even fear to play the powerful ship like Tier X and Belfast cause I know it would be harder to "grind back the stats" if I sucks.

 

I'll go to see my counseling psychologist… But I still can't get rid of the red numbers on my Smolensk, I want to do well but the condition got worse and worse. Really hope I never played this ship or the stat could be wiped. Maybe I deserve this cause I can't play well or be useful to my team. Sorry for the rant but I just need to speak out to make myself better.

Adopt more of a "who gives a shit" attitude. The only person who can make you feel bad is you. You decide if something is going to piss you off or make you sad. Its a conscious decision, perhaps try telling yourself this when those situation arise. Just some insite after having some dealings with this kind of mental state.

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Hide your stats, no one really gives a damn and those that make a thing out of it are just being small minded anyway. It’s certainly not worth jeopardising your mental health over it.

On a side note, it’s encouraging to see someone come out and admit to a mental health problem and not be summarily ridiculed for it. It gives me hope. BZ everyone.

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You need to seriously consider stop playing this game and get something offline/single-player. Pick up a farming simulator or the likes.

Playing against other people will only worsen your condition.

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7 minutes ago, Bex_o7 said:

Hide your stats, no one really gives a damn and those that make a thing out of it are just being small minded anyway.

Sounds good, doesn't work.

Players who hide their stats gets the same treatment from the toxic players.

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my smolensk avg dmg went down from 180k to 110k

 

my life in a failure 

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My advice is to forget about padding stats and instead play to win. The main objective of the game is to win after all, everything else is secondary.

1 hour ago, Bex_o7 said:

Hide your stats, no one really gives a damn and those that make a thing out of it are just being small minded anyway. It’s certainly not worth jeopardising your mental health over it.

Not going to work. Hiding your stats would just indicate you have something to hide, and the people looking up your stats are going to assume it is because of bad stats.

Like I said, support your team and play to win. Let your actions speak for themselves. No need to rely on arbitrary numbers on some stats website.

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While WoWS does have very interesting ship models, and is indeed a fun game for those interested in naval history, is is still an arcade pvp game, with all the competitive, salty, stat focused only interested in winning players that come with it.

While it remains pvp, you cannot change the attitudes of some people. All you can do is grow a thick skin, ignore what other players say, and play the way you want to play. I try very hard not to care what my stats are, or what other people say (beyond friendly advice), and focus on just playing for my own enjoyment.

End of the day, if you find the game is needlessly stressing you out, you may need to find a different game, probably something with either single player, or co op.

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There may not be a path to good mental health that runs through a computer game where completely anonymous people who have no concerns about your well being can so deeply affect your state of mind.

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3 hours ago, Shibeta said:

I started to take this game seriously

Oh man. Sorry to hear about your condition. But yeah at times the urge to win in a specific ship really irritates you to the max(I am not max) that makes you keep trying again and again until you get that single win of the day and you get tilted.

As long as you are aware you are tilting its the first positive step. The second one is the art of ignoring. Sounds easy but it's not when you take things far too seriously. Too much in something is never a good thing.

 

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@Lowyat So glad to see they know about pinball... them were the days. I used to know the tilt limit on my local machines so well I could move the ball without triggering it.

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Take a break. Nothing good come out when angry.

There is more to life than just playing 1 game. 🙂

Breathe in, breathe out.

Edited by S0und_Theif

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5 hours ago, Shibeta said:

I cried, punched desk and broke my mouse today cause I suddenly can't play Smolensk well. At the very beginning, everything was fine, I got 140k average damage and I decided to keep playing, then I lost 10 games with Smolensk in a row, I was mad and started to make very basic mistakes and my average damage dropped to pathetic 60k, I struggled to pad the average damage back but I started to get sudden death frequently and I was totally done.

 

I was diagnosed with depression several years ago, a friend of mine recommended this game to me cause he thought this would cheer me up a bit (I like naval history). Actually, I'm a quiet and humble person and don't play any other competitive PvP games. I started worrying about my stats because I got seriously bullied and stat shammed when I was an unforgivable potato (I lived abroad and played in NA then, not here). Stat shamming made my mental condition even worse, I started to realize that the elitism atmosphere in player communities would always be there, so the only way to protect myself is to play better. I started to take this game seriously, taking notes when watching playback, reading ship reviews, and learning the advanced game machanism. I thought I could do better, but I still sucks. I never want to be unicum or something else fantastic, I just want to keep myself safe when playing the game. Every time I get below average stats on a certain ship, I grind hard to make it better. I even fear to play the powerful ship like Tier X and Belfast cause I know it would be harder to "grind back the stats" if I sucks.

 

I'll go to see my counseling psychologist… But I still can't get rid of the red numbers on my Smolensk, I want to do well but the condition got worse and worse. Really hope I never played this ship or the stat could be wiped. Maybe I deserve this cause I can't play well or be useful to my team. Sorry for the rant but I just need to speak out to make myself better.

When this happens to me, I play different games or get off the computer completely....  For my own mental health I play games like Skyrim, or Witcher 1, where I can run around open land for ages, & the games are set in D&D style, & they are really like nature walks....so no guns, etc... I also play Titanquest...

These help my own mental health...

While i love World Of Warships, if I lose about 5 matches in a row, then I know RNGesus is active, so I stop... & I also agree with @Bex_o7...Don't worry about stats, enjoy the game & don't worry if matches go bad...

Mental health is far more important...

I also listen to classical music...

Also chatting with people on discord is also helpful if you are in a good understanding clan...

 

Ordrazz

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7 hours ago, Shibeta said:

I was diagnosed with depression several years ago, a friend of mine recommended this game to me cause he thought this would cheer me up a bit (I like naval history).

Maybe, your friends were pointed out the PvE aspects like Co-op or Scenario battle. Which is a lot more forgiving than the PvP. If I were one of your friends, I would've recommend you some simulator or sandbox games. Playing competitive games while having a depression can never end well. My advice is get out from NA, quit from the game and get some fresh air.

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If you are playing the game while angry or frustrated, you're only gonna perform worse. Trying to keeping playing at that point is a trap and downward spiral. This is something I think all online gamers have went through at some point.

Learn to know when you're starting to get angry. Take a little break and calm down. 


Also, I have once damaged my own things out of rage too, and realised I had a problem.

Learn to know what you can do and can't do. Failing is also a path of learning.

Taking a break can be especially useful if you feel stuck. Come back and look at the situation again after a little while, you might be able to view from a different perspective.

 

Stats are relative to everyone on a server, therefore its impossible for everyone to be "good".

People that only talk trash without giving any usable advice, should be ignored.

Most of the time, the loudest people are also those who suck, but want to blame everyone else besides themselves.

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Playing a game is pretty much one of the worst things you can do for depression.

If you are having an episode then seek professional counselling. For me, finding something to do outdoors with other people - the sunlight is critical - is by far the best way to do it. I sea kayak and grow veges, and have recently taken up fishing (but tbh that is just about the most frustrating thing I have tried of late).  Being face to face with people also helps a lot because they will see your facial expressions and figure you out.

If you are playing the game in a manner which makes you feel OK is vital. Different people will choose different paths, be it Co-op, lower tiers, something else entirely, you know yourself best.  

Good luck with things.    

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On 10/25/2019 at 4:39 PM, Paladinum said:

You need to seriously consider stop playing this game and get something offline/single-player. Pick up a farming simulator or the likes.

This is the advice I would also give.

I felt the same playing tanks and just hated everything about it and myself.   I left tanks and have never regretted it.  Nothing you do personally will change the way the other players behave towards you but ultimately its yourself that feels the pressure of your performance and maybe you are becoming too focussed on that.  If you show your stats someone will say something, and if you hide them the same people will say the same thing.

 

Start taking a positive step towards your own health and listen to what your doctor says and not what other people say.

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i invited some friends to play the game and after something like you experienced and none is left now.

 

no wondering why the matching system is getting worse. this game is definitely not friendly to new players.

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Hmm, those people who often peek then shaming WR are the ones really need a mental doctor.

I identify myself as a better player, not the best, just better.

I don't give a damn about WR really, 12 players, my significance in the team statistically speaking is 1/12 of the team.

Although i knew it usually not the case, still the team contribution is larger than my part.

I often playing with potatoes even div-ed with them; which some ends up losing. Nvm really i just went along with them.

As long the team is having fun, not turning toxic it is fine.

Also i usually using less capable ships. I don't hide my stat as long i remember, peek if you want.

About the chat, there's mute button, something i've been longed to have.

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In the 10th Century one of China's historically most famous poet write in a poem (  觀棋 ) which translate as watching a chess game ; in there he proclaim in his verse " 勝固欣然,敗亦可喜 " which had since been regarded as the highest redeem of how one approach a game or gaming itself , the text translate as " Exhilarated for sure when winning, but failure also bring joy "

In short , anything else in gaming is not important , what's important is enjoying the process , the fun in and among ... there can be only a minority that can achieve the best in any field, most of us cannot and are not among those minority; and none of us should be feeling anxiety for being so ... and as anyone who actually practice computing science would tell you, Data are just what the name say, Data only .. it really does not mean this or that automatically

And be gentle on yourself , if WOWS is proving a bit too stressful, then play other games, games that can be equally challenging but rewarding without the need to keep comparing, say some ARPG, enjoy the process of building your character and bringing it to perfection ( or as close as we humanly can be ) ; or just play Scenario and enjoy the fun  

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