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EvyL

KM Tirpitz

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334
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Super Tester
1,689 posts

I'm not one to start the New Year with weird shit... but thanks to some wehraboos ruining my day, I'd rather throw it in.

 

Also to rid myself of the salt of not having one.

 

I PRESENT TO YOU THE TIRPITZ

 

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Not THIS Tirpitz although this magnificent bastard was the namesake 

 

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... I can accept this Tirpitz (commander where)

 

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THIS Tirpitz.

 

ALL HAIL THE LONELY QUEEN OF THE NORTH

 

Now in the 30's, the WNT was getting to be constraining in terms of how to battleship and even moreso for Germany who had been severely shafted by the Treaty of Versailles which was basically "you can have x amount of ships and if ship y is too old, you can rebuild to replace them" AND had to abide with the observations which kinda resulted in the Scharnhorsts that sort of passed but was a wee bit undergunned for their liking (honestly would you even try to face a dread with 11 inch guns? as much as the twins were tough as nails, it didnt help the fact that a dread's belt proves too tough a nut to crack and would have to resort to plunging fire or getting close enough for the torpedoes to connect) and so it happened that one of their aging pre-dreads, the Schlesswig-Holstein, had to be replaced so they were building a replacement for it... well two of them that were bigger and pretty much violated treaty observations... but at this point it was bullshit, as the Germans also deemed Versailles bullshit, because the Japanese ragequitted after London II and the "escalation" clause kicked in which sort of got accepted in the norm. The result were the Bismarcks out in the water... not quite. Tirpitz was still in the process of float-out and fitting out when her big sister was up and ready, after all.

 

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You can't deny Tirpitz was one sexy ass battleship tbh

 

As with her sister, Tirpitz had 15 inch guns in dual mount turrets in the AB-XY layout, a good load of 150mm guns for her decent secondaries, some 105 DP's, 37mm's and 20mm AA guns for her AA suite and a pair of quad torpedo tubes lugging that lumpy G7a T1 torpedo. She had her protection with nearly 350mm of belt, 80mm of top deck with an additional 120mm of armored deck, 350mm of conning tower and turret and 45mm of bulkhead and could run at 30 kts, 30.8 was her max achieved speed during shakedown.

 

She was still fitting out when she heard that Bismarck was ganked after several Swordfish torpedo runs crippled the battleship and was pretty much combat ready when the steamroll to Norway was planned and so she went there as a poising threat which also meant that British heavy capital ships needed to be nearby since the unnatural fear that Tirpitz may be a tougher nut to crack than Bismarck was there, they had to station some battleships like King George V, Duke of York and the reformatted battlecruiser Renown nearby. Why a battlecruiser was there you might ask? Remember that like Bismarck, Tirpitz was also fast, and with the loss of both Hood and Repulse, Renown became the only fast capital ship the Brits had. Unless you can prove that a 24 kt Queen Liz can catch up to her because she isn't Normandie. Oh and because the Germans started to resort to piracy in an attempt to starve the UK by playing Pin the depth charge on the U-boat and a rousing game of Catch the Convoy by surface ships.

 

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BEHOLD THE TRUTH WHY TIRPITZ HAS 12.3KM MAX CONCEALMENT

 

You could say that during her status as a fleet in being up with the Nords, she was damn pampered. She had a heavy AA battery protecting her ass in the fjord, an artificial fog generator to cloudy up the fjord she's in so that the British won't be accurate during bombings. Due to silly things like Bismarck dying, Graf Spee committing suicide and fuel shortages because the long run home that was Cerberus was allocated to the Scharnhorst twins and their surface screen, she was pretty much holed up in her cozy lil fjord in Norway while at the same time making the Brits wary and scared on the potential shit she'll wreck if she goes pirate. And oh how they tried to wreck her, how they so tried~

 

Now here's the bit I'm actually having a little angst of:

When you think of commerce raiding, the sub is pretty much the king of scary and brick defecation but a battleship going pirate has its merits. Sure it eats a lot of fuel in doing so but unlike a sub that needs ambush to sink, a battleship just appears and starts blasting targets then gets the hell out of dodge. its kinda unfair that battleship piracy, especially done by the twins, had 'little effect' when they were priority 1 to kill to the point they'd even send dreads to screen instead of just sending cruisers packing depth charges and turning on ASDIC to cover their asses in the event of a sub attack.

 

Sadly, Tirpitz didnt do notable stuff apart from moving about in the fjords at Norway and attempting to play Chase the convoy which typically resulted in convoy dispersal due to compromised cryptography and had a roll in blasting the crap out of installations, shooting down aircraft whose pilots tried to strike her and her threat level was so great that when word got out that she was trying to intercept PQ-17 which they aborted, the Allies literally sent the toughest escorts on that convoy to intercept the battleship that also had the luck of a Russian sub that attempted to torpedo her. Oh and the carrier Victorious was all over her ass.

 

Then the final strike came in during Catechism where Avro Lancasters (no offense to the Brits, but the Lancaster's nose is UGLY. Why dafuq did you cram the dakka ON TOP OF THE NOSE CONE while you can use THE nose cone as dakka?!) packing Tallboys this time to ensure death and total loss.

 

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Behold, a tallboy.

 

This bomb which a Lancaster could carry only one in their bay, was basically a bunker buster bomb that pretty much laughed at underground complexes and these things were used on suspected submarine pens which were pretty immune to GP bombs due to the ground and the depth of earth the bunker is in. AND THEY DROPPED IT ON TIRPITZ. Yes, thats how the Brits were sorely butthurt and eager to see the battleship sink that they'd drop tallboys. I mean would you risk your capital ships just to blast Tirpitz in the fjord that's teeming with mines and shore guns? Oh and the Luftwaffe apparently didnt get info that the battleship moved to another cozy fjord~

 

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Welp.

 

The bombs broke a lot of stuff on Tirpitz including her keel and she capsized right after a large mag det. Rescue teams had to cut through the ship bottom to free the trapped crewmen to boot.

 

In-game wise, this battleship is pretty much Germany's first representative and still continues to hold true to her moniker of The Lonely Queen of the North. Her durability speaks for herself and with the secondary buff, she can have her secondaries fire withering hails much like her big sister without the hydro since she has torpedo tubes for them uppercuts.

 

Cue any kind soul for one plz loljk

Derp.exe -nw has crashed.

 

Edited by EvyL
MUH TITLE
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230
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4,684 battles

I think for Eyvl's Derp.exe series of both informative and entertaining posts WG should give him a Tirpitz!

 

And I second the request for that Azur Lane Captain,she looks bad ass!

Edited by BanditSE1977
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334
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1,689 posts
2 hours ago, BanditSE1977 said:

I think for Eyvl's Derp.exe series of both informative and entertaining posts WG should give him a Tirpitz!

 

And I second the request for that Azur Lane Captain,she looks bad ass!

 

I do try to make the writeups freehand in the hopes of making anyone who does read this be interested in ships, after all~

 

What I actually went "bruuuh...." over this battleship is the fact that she had an incredible luxury for a battleship, and this is just anchorage to boot.

 

Also the fact that Campbelltown YOLO'd into St. Nazaire's drydock meant she couldnt be a pirate in the Atlantic since that drydock should have been large enough to accommodate her~

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