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_AkaNo

Murphy's Rules of Warships Combat

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[PANTS]
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188 posts
10,309 battles

I saw this post on reddit and gonna share it here

 

Some is just spot on 

 

:hiding::hiding::hiding: 

 

  • Friendly fire - isn't.
  • Suppressive fires - won't.
  • You are not Superman; Destroyers and British cruisers take note.
  • A gurgling flooding is Nature's way of telling you to slow down.
  • If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid.
  • Try to look unimportant; the enemy may have a long reload and not want to waste a torpedo salvo on you.
  • If at first you don't succeed, call for the carrier.
  • If you are forward of your position, your destroyers will torp short.
  • Never share a cap with anyone braver than yourself.
  • If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush.
  • The enemy diversion you're ignoring is their main attack.
  • The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions:
  • when they're ready.
  • when you're not.
  • No battle plan ever survives initial contact with the enemy.
  • There is no such thing as a perfect plan.
  • Two-blob smoke always gives you only one blob.
  • A retreating enemy is probably just falling back and regrouping.
  • The important things are always simple; the simple are always hard.
  • The easy cap is always destroyer-infested.
  • Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at.
  • Don't look conspicuous; it draws fire. For this reason, it is not at all uncommon for aircraft carriers to be known as bomb magnets.
  • Never draw fire; it irritates everyone around you.
  • If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in the cap zone.
  • When you have secured the cap, make sure the enemy knows it too.
  • Incoming fire has the right of way.
  • If the enemy is within range, so are you.
  • The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
  • Teamspeak will fail as soon as you need fire support.
  • Anything you do can get you killed, including nothing.
  • Make it too tough for the enemy to get in, and you won't be able to get out.
  • Tracers work both ways.
  • If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will get more than your fair share of objectives to take.
  • When both sides are convinced they're about to lose, they're both right.
  • Professional players are predictable; the world is full of dangerous amateurs.
  • Weather ain't neutral.
  • If you can't remember, the torpedo is pointed toward you.
  • Destroyer motto: torp 'em first; sort 'em out afterwards.
  • The battle line doesn't always come to the rescue.
  • Torpedoes are area support weapons.
  • Torpedoes are equal opportunity weapons.
  • TX BBs are the ultimate close support weapons.
  • The one consumable you need is always on reload.
  • It's not the torpedo with your name on it; it's the one addressed "to whom it may concern" you've got to think about.
  • When in doubt, empty your torpedo launchers.
  • The side with no camo loses.
  • The most dangerous thing in the world is a Warlead with a tactical map and a battle plan.
  • Exceptions prove the rule, and destroy the battle plan.
  • The enemy never watches until you make a mistake.
  • One enemy ship is never enough, but two is entirely too many.
  • Whenever you have fast reload, you never miss. Whenever you have low reload, you can't hit the broad side of a barn.
  • For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
  • When all your weapons and consumables have reloaded, the enemy takes half the battle time to attack. When your weapons and consumables are on reload, the enemy decides to attack right away.
  • The least experienced player will usually win the Solo Warrior.
  • A Dreadnought achievement just proves that were you smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.
  • The crucial torpedo is a miss.
  • Every command which can be misunderstood, will be.
  • Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last and don't ever volunteer to do anything.
  • If your positions are firmly set and you are prepared to take the enemy assault on, he will bypass you.
  • If your ambush is properly set, the enemy won't walk into it.
  • If your flank attack is going well, the enemy expects you to outflank him.
  • Density of fire increases proportionally to the curiousness of the target.
  • Odd objects attract fire - never lurk behind one.
  • There is always a way, and it usually doesn't work.
  • The number of fires on your ship (in a fight) is inversely proportional to the distance to any form of cover.
  • If only one solution can be found for a field problem, then it is usually a stupid solution.
  • The problem with taking the easy way out is that the enemy has already torpedoed towards it.
  • The division system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.
  • If your advance is going well, you are driving into an ambush.
  • The only time suppressive fire works is when it is used on abandoned positions.
  • There is nothing more satisfying than having someone take a shot at you, and miss.
  • When in a fight, kill as many as you can, the one you miss may not miss later.
  • It is a physical impossibility to carry too many premium consumables.
  • If you can see the flashes from the enemies' guns in his smoke, he can see yours in your smoke too.
  • Just because you have a nearly impenetrable armor belt and a hard-ass turtleback, doesn't mean you don't have citadels.
  • You're only better than your enemy if you kill him first.
  • You have two mortal enemies in combat; the opposing side and your own battle line.
  • You think the enemy has better destroyer support and the enemy thinks yours is better; you're both right.
  • Once you are in the fight it is way too late to wonder if this is a good idea.
  • Cover your division mate, so he can be around to cover for you.
  • Sometimes, being good and lucky still is not enough.
  • If you have a turtleback they will probably miss that part.
  • There is no such thing as a fair fight -- only ones where you win or lose.
  • Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.
  • Failure of plan A will directly affect your ability to carry out plan B.
  • An escaping ship can be used again.
  • If you think you'll die, don't worry you won't.
  • It is better to be lucky than good in the battlefield.
  • The only thing more dangerous to you than the enemy, is your allies
  • Battleships draw fire. A lot of it. It does not behove the cruiser to hide behind one.
  • The enemy always has the advantage.
  • Fighter Strafes don't know the difference between friend and foe.
  • You may have the better planes, but the enemy is the better carrier player. (or vise versa)
  • Any attempt to find cover will result in failure.
  • If it makes sense, it is not Wargaming's envisioned way to play

 

Sauce: 

Credits to clancy688

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[MEGA]
Member
4,564 posts
17,558 battles

 

NOOOoo u stop right there !!! 

"POI is a clan of unicums, they have a ridiculous ammount of supah unicums the likes of haku, R3, nch and hero of wind, when you see these people, concentrate fire at ALL costs, either your whole team kill them, or they kill your whole team, take special note of a player called melonmelonsoda, he is the clan leader and one of the best DD players in asia, if you kill him you will deal a 20% moral debuff to the enemy team, so hunt him first amongst all POI members"

 

(discription of the clan POI from the up coming clan chart V.2.0)

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Member
520 posts
11,127 battles

"POI is a clan of unicums, they have a ridiculous ammount of supah unicums the likes of haku, R3, nch and hero of wind, when you see these people, concentrate fire at ALL costs, either your whole team kill them, or they kill your whole team, take special note of a player called melonmelonsoda, he is the clan leader and one of the best DD players in asia, if you kill him you will deal a 20% moral debuff to the enemy team, so hunt him first amongst all POI members"

 

(discription of the clan POI from the up coming clan chart V.2.0)

lol.... Sums it out just right:p

Edited by kultabashi

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Beta Tester
2,083 posts
5,169 battles

 

NOOOoo u stop right there !!! 

 

funny because most people i played know that poi is an unicrum clan. they we didn't have to spread it, your clan is already doing it for us.

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Member
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1,373 battles

Professional players are predictable; the world is full of dangerous amateurs.

 

I got torpedoed by Takaos multiple times when they think they have 20km torpedoes and chuck it at the sniping BB. :teethhappy:

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